Lucy at Two and Three Months

Lucy hit her three month mark yesterday! Can you believe that? This Coronavirus makes time feel like it's flying by! And yet, I'm also not accomplishing hardly anything in all that time (except for keeping two little girls alive, which is a pretty big accomplishment I think.)

Anyways, this post isn't about my insecurities, it's about Lucy and what SHE is accomplishing! 

I didn't post anything about her turning two months so here are a few pictures of her that I took when she hit that mark. 

This one just kills me! <3 That physique! All the heart eyes!

Now onto three months! 

Lucy is SUCH a happy baby! She really just loves when anyone pays attention to her. She loves listening to Ryan's voice, she lights up when Rose comes into the room, and I can almost always get her to laugh by tickling her near her collar bone. 

Her favorite things are looking at the paper hearts I have on the wall, watching ceiling fans spin (unfortunately we don't have any), eating (of course),  gnawing on her fist like a popsicle, and getting her diaper changed. That last one is weird to me because Rose never liked getting her diaper changed (and still doesn't. She'll sit in a dirty diaper forever if we don't catch it.) If Lucy's diaper is even the tiniest bit wet she'll fuss and cry and then as soon as we lay her down to change her diaper she'll give you the biggest smile ever and act as if she's at the spa. She's weird. But at least her chances of getting a diaper rash aren't that high. 

She also loves to "stand." If you hold her up, she'll lock her legs and you can tell she is so proud of herself every time she does it. She loves feeling like a part of things. She phased out of the falling asleep on my chest part of a newborn really fast and I'm pretty bummed about it. Now, she can barely stand to let me burp her on my shoulder before she is done with it and ready to get a good look at what's going on around us. She just started cooing and I already mentioned that she laughs, but I didn't mention that it is the cutest thing ever. 

We all just adore her. She's the perfect addition to our family. <3 

Quilt made by: Sue Welch aka Grannie (my Grannie, Lucy's Great-Grannie)

Lucy’s Birth Story

It’s been just over 7 weeks since Lucy was born and I’m starting to get the hang of this mom of 2 thing! I meant to write this blogpost sooner but our laptop wouldn't connect to the internet for some reason so I put it off and then tried writing it on my phone... which worked for the words but not for pictures. I finally restarted and updated my computer (which didn't occur to me to do sooner...) and that fixed everything. oops. So here it is!

I think I’ve mentioned before that Lucy’s due date was April 17, which is my birthday. So, I asked my doctor if I could be induced earlier so we wouldn’t have the same birthday. He told me I could be induced up to a week earlier, so April 11th it was! Except, he was going to be out of town that weekend so he asked if the 14th would be okay. I sighed, and said that would be fine but it’s cutting it a little close since Rose didn’t come until 36 hours after I got to the hospital and I wasn't entirely convinced that Lucy wouldn't do the same thing.

Our last photo as a family of three

I was told to wait for a phone call on the 13th (Monday night) to let me know what time to come to the hospital on Tuesday. Around 9 or 10 pm I got the call saying I should expect another phone call in the morning around 7 or 8 to come in. So, Ryan and I got up at 6 am (Rose was staying with my parents) and waited. And waited, and waited some more. Around 10 am I decided to call and the hospital told me they were swamped but that I was the first in line when they had a room open. We waited and waited some more. I was feeling emotional though about leaving Rose for 3 days because she’s never not seen me for that long and I was worried she would feel betrayed when I came back after being gone with a new baby that needed all the attention. (Those pregnancy hormones are no joke, let me tell you.) So, after crying for a bit, Ryan suggested we go wait for the phone call with my mom and Rose. We went over there to wait, Rose was doing just fine and we waited some more. I called again at 2 pm and they were still full. At some point they called and told me to just come in at 8 pm. With that extra time we had, Ryan found a store nearby that carried a gun he’s been looking at and saving up for... so he went and bought it. *insert eye roll here* while I sat and waited and worried some more. It was a REALLY long day. And I was frustrated because by the time I had Lucy it would be the 15th or 16th which is only one or two days away from my birthday rather than the original week I had been hoping for.

The pictures that look like this are from my stories on Instagram throughout the whole birth/hospital experience. 

Around 7:30 pm, Ryan and I drove home to pick up a few things and he gave me a blessing of comfort that really helped to calm my nerves. Then we drove to Two Jacks to pick up a pizza for him to bring to the hospital (we learned our lesson last time around). Then we drove to the hospital.

We checked in and got all settled into the room. I put on the uncomfortable hospital gown, sat in the uncomfortable hospital bed, had my blood pressure checked, an iv put in my arm, the heart monitor for the baby and the contraction monitor attached to my large pregnant belly, and the rolled up towel put under my pack so I wasn’t flat on my back. If it sounds uncomfortable, just know that it is and probably even more uncomfortable than it sounds.

The nurse then told me that I would have to do the whole Cervidil (cervical ripening) again.... even though my doctor said that I wouldn’t have to do that this time. ( I suspect that he didn’t want to deliver a baby in the middle of the night... which is fair... but I wish I hadn’t waited all day just to be told I had to wait until the next morning to actually be induced.)

When my nurse had to check my cervix I politely let her know ahead of time that I would most likely cry but not to worry about it, I was fine. I just always cry. I can’t help it. Hospitals and doctors and dentists give me anxiety and all the stuff that goes with birth typically makes me want to cry. Even if it doesn’t hurt. (But for the record, getting your cervix checked is extremely unpleasant, and feels painful to me.)

These are from my Instagram stories throughout my time in the hospital.

Oh! I forgot to mention that I was so worried about having a baby during a pandemic and that Ryan wouldn’t be able to be there if the Coronavirus stuff got bad. I’m SO SO SO grateful that he was able to be there because he is the best at helping me to breathe and calm down when I get really overwhelmed. AND along the lines of what was different about having a baby during a pandemic: I had to get tested for coronavirus on Monday before having the baby and that was a horrible experience. (If you’ve been tested with the nose swab then you know what I mean.) and then other than that, Ryan had to wear a mask when nurses were in the room.

Okay, back to the birth story.

So, we hung out all night while my cervix was “ripening” I guess. At 8 am the nurse checked my cervix again (a truly traumatizing experience, does anyone else feel this way? Or am i just a baby?) and the Cervidil actually worked this time! I was dilated to a 3! I was planning on just doing what I did with Rose: epidural, Pitocin, water broken, baby. But my doctor wanted to break my water before his office opened at 9 so he came and broke my water and then I ate breakfast, got the epidural, the Pitocin, and then waited.

With Rose, I accidentally got too much epidural/anesthesia right before she decided to make her arrival so I couldn’t feel ANYTHING of the delivery. This time I decided I wanted to be able to feel a little bit. So I didn’t push the button for more. And the contractions didn’t really hurt, they just felt like pressure. And it got harder to breathe when I had a contraction. After about 2 1/2 hours I could tell that the contractions were coming closer together and getting much stronger. I had to lay back because of the epidural (I asked if I could sit up more and the nurse said no...) and I started having reflux and the difficulty breathing made me feel a little sick. At one point Ryan was trying to talk to me and distract me but then I threw up my breakfast which was gross. Going into labor has that effect on some women according to the nurse.

My doctor got there soon after, they got everything ready and then it was time to deliver Lucy. I only had to push for about 20 minutes. It didn’t feel very long at all. It was actually kind of nice to be able to feel a little bit. I’ll never have a baby without an epidural, my anticipation of pain tolerance is VERY low. But I liked feeling more present and a little bit more in control.

Our beautiful Lucy Del was born at 12:26 pm on Wednesday, April 15th. It was pretty a pretty emotional and wonderful experience. I hate being uncomfortable so all the stuff leading up to having a baby is hard for me and I complain a lot. But I definitely wouldn’t trade any of it if it meant I couldn’t have Rose and Lucy in my life.

Lucy had the cord loosely wrapped around her neck when she came out, which resulted in some liquid getting in her lungs? I think? The nurses didn’t seem to worried about her. And she turned out fine, we just had to suck liquid out of her mouth with the little bulb thing and try to get her to cry to clear out her lungs.

She was 8 lbs 2 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. She had darkish brown hair, her skin was super duper red, and she was fuzzy all over. Her and Rose look completely different to me.

We moved to the recovery room and hung out until Thursday afternoon. The nursery wasn’t open because of the Coronavirus, so they told us we could leave after 24 hours instead of 48 hours if we wanted to. I kind of wanted to stay for the free food, but also my birthday was on Friday and it didn’t seem worth it to stay just for hospital food on my birthday. So we went home Thursday afternoon.

My parents kept Rose at their Airbnb for the rest of their stay (about another week) but they brought her over when we got home so she could meet Lucy. They also brought me a ton of beautiful tulips.

The first few weeks after having a baby are tough. Recovery is difficult and having a two year old and a newborn that rely on you when your body hurts and you are far from feeling normal isn’t easy. But it’s been 7 weeks now and we are all doing really good. I’m getting the hang of having two kids, Lucy is starting to sleep for long stretches of time at night, and my body feels so much better than it did. And I can see my toes again! (Hooray hooray for not being pregnant anymore!!!)

I love love love being a mom and getting to see my girls grow and learn and discover their world. It’s not easy, but it is oh so worth it!

All about Rose

Having a newborn is great! I'm sure other mothers can relate to the fact that I just sat down to write this and as I was getting all set up Rose was sleeping soundly a couple feet away from me, but as soon as she realized I was not holding her anymore (or that I was doing something other than paying attention to her) she woke up and started crying. But I'm going to see if I ignore her for just a minute if she'll go back to sleep. Fingers crossed. (She'll thank me later when she has a detailed record of what she was like as a baby...)

Before I talk about Rose I'll just take a moment to catch you up on Ryan and I. Ryan has been working two jobs since summer started and he has worked every. single. day. for weeks. It's been kind of lame, but adulthood has to be lame sometimes. One of his coworkers quit the other day so even on his days off he has to go in. :( Luckily, Sam's Club offers a 6 week paid paternity leave, that he can take anytime after the baby is born, so that starts next week. He'll only work his other job for a couple weeks and then we'll have a few weeks of fun. As for me, I spend my days with a little baby.

All day every day.

I have gotten away a couple of times in the last week though. Ryan and I finally went on a date with just the two of us last week to Heber City. We ate at a little cafe and then got milk shakes and we happened to be there on the night of their farmers market, so I also got cotton candy. (I have a thing for cotton candy... and Ryan loves me so he always gets me some when we find it.) I have also gone to the grocery store twice without her and to a girls night at Denny's. Other than that, I am pretty much always with her. Which is fun, but a little exhausting.

Now, onto what you really care about: Rose.

She's almost 7 weeks old. (I'm not punctual enough to write one of these every week or every month at a specific time, so you'll just have to accept getting 7 week old updates or 3 3/4 month old updates whenever I get the time or the motivation to write something.) We still think she's super duper cute. I can't get enough of her. (Actually, sometimes I can, and that's when I hand her to Ryan and let him comfort her.)

I don't have any other 7 week old babies that I spend literally every single day with to compare her to, so I don't know what is unique to her or pretty general 7 week old stuff. But I'll tell you all about her anyways because I'm sure you're just DYING to hear all about my cute baby.

Let's see:

She sleeps GREAT at night. I've only woken up to feed her in the middle of the night once in the last two weeks. She almost always sleeps from 9:30 PM until 5 or 6 AM. (We are so grateful for that.)

She is always hungry. When I burp her after a feeding she head butts my shoulder like a little woodpecker to let me know that she was not, in fact, finished. (Also, I'm pretty sure that she spits up in order to make room for more food. The stinker.)

She prefers to nap with her arms and legs free. She likes to keep her arms up by her head.

She stretches all the time. She's in a constant state of stretching.

At night I make her sleep in her pack n' play but in the morning when I feed her I'll let her lay next to me and fall asleep on her side, like a little adult. I think it's the cutest thing ever.

Ryan and I do everything we can to get her to smile, and sometimes she graces us with some really cute smiles (dimple included) and other times she raises one eyebrow and looks at us like we are idiots. The times that she does smile are normally because she thinks she is about to eat some more, but I think she is starting to smile occasionally because she likes us.

She kicks her legs a lot. She has very long and powerful legs for a baby. When she's happy/excited she kicks them straight up in the air really fast. When she's mad she just kicks me. (She has a gift for kicking me the most when I'm hurting, for instance, I got sick this week and found out I had mastitis. So, I had a migraine, I felt dizzy, and my boobs hurt and all day she just cried and kicked me in the chest. It was just one of those days...By the way, I feel much better now.)

We've trained her to fall asleep to Enya. Our house sounds very much like a spa sometimes. (Doesn't feel like one though.)

She only poops like once a week, which is fantastic for me (and perfectly normal according to the pediatrician, so don't worry.)

We started taking her to the pool and she is okay with the water. She actually took a nap the whole time we were there last time. However, getting into and out of her swimsuit is pretty much the worst form of torture we could inflict upon her. The world ends every time.

She is a very noisy eater and sleeper. She snores, she grunts (like an old man), and she breathes very quickly.

She has a receding hairline, which makes me sad, but I'm told her hair will grow back, so I'm hoping it will grow back quickly.

Ryan and I are super excited at how well she is doing at holding her head up. I will be so much less worried about her once she can hold her head up on her own. We make her do tummy time frequently to help her develop those muscles. Like her mom (and grandma), she hates exercise, but it has to be done.

She can sense anytime I am about to eat something, because that's when she decides to be must upset and most hungry. (Literally every single time I go into the kitchen to find something to eat, she finds herself in the depths of despair.)

She has her mom and dad totally and completely wrapped around her teeny tiny perfect little fingers.

Well, that's Rose for you. She's really super duper cute, sometimes we joke about sending her back, but we never actually would. I can't wait for her to recognize me as her favorite person ever and to be excited to see me when I come and rescue her from her naps, rather than crying more to let me know how displeased she is with me leaving her alone for any amount of time at all. And I can't wait for her smiles to be for me and not just for my milk.

Until then, I'll just keep being her mostly patient mom and feeding her every 30 minutes all day every day and trying to help her understand that when I suck the snot out of her nose with those little snot sucker things that I am doing it for her own comfort and well being, not to ruin her life. I'll keep talking to her like she understands everything I'm saying and letting her kick me. And I'll keep watching her for hours on end while she snores in her sleep because I would rather not do anything else. Because somehow, even though being a full-time mom is very different (and sometimes difficult) from the ways I spent my time before she got here, something about her makes it absolutely 100% worth it, and watching her sleep seems like a perfectly reasonable, acceptable, and pleasant way to spend my time.

I mentioned the one eyebrow raise...

Milk coma.

I mentioned she likes to have her hands free. At night this is supposed to swaddle her (like a straight jacket), but she wiggles around until she gets her hands free and then she'll fall asleep. 

Ryan's fathers day gift. 

"You don't have food for me, I'm just going to look at you like this until you hand me over to mom."

She hasn't quite grasped kisses yet. She thinks it means she gets to eat, so she opens her mouth wide...She's getting there. 

This is the way she prefers to sleep.