One of our favorite places to go up Provo Canyon is Big Springs Park. It's the perfect family hike for little legs and long legs! And it is SO magical! It's the kind of place that you are sure fairies belong. With a pretty stream that runs along the trail and big trees and secret paths that veer off the main path. It's really just such a fun and pretty place to explore. One Sunday this summer we went on a hazy sunny day, and I brought my camera to take pictures of our little adventure. And these are probably some of my all time favorite pictures of my family. I even gave Ryan the camera and got him to take some pictures of me.
The more practice I get on this earth and being a mom, the more I realize how important family is. I'm not the best with my family of origin or with Ryan's family, but I do try, and I'll keep trying (and falling and then trying again). And I'm really trying with my girls to help them realize from a young age that family is everything. ❤️
Something I learned from my degree at BYU is that when people feel safe with you, they are more likely to act out around you. I can remember being a young kid and playing with friends, having so much fun, and then coming home and acting like a complete brat. And I've always felt a bit embarrassed about that. But I realize now that I felt safe at home, and like I could be myself. It doesn't excuse the way I acted, but it was a sign that I felt safe. And over time I learned how to cope with stimulation and feelings of being overwhelmed in healthier ways. Similarly, Ryan and I take out our frustrations with our world out on each other sometimes. And I can always come back to: Ryan and I feel safe with each other, the world is weighing us down and we are feeling frustrated and out of control. But I love him and he loves me more than anyone in the whole world, and we feel completely and totally safe with each other. We couldn't be more comfortable. I'm not sure where I'm going with this other than that family is messy and complicated and for sure takes work and practice and trying again and again. And figuring it out as we go.
Heavenly Father organized us into families for a reason, and I don't think it was just so we could have an easy go of things. I think He knew we would learn a LOT in our little groups. I also think He wanted us to have a safe place to grow and to develop into who we are supposed to be. I'm proud of the progress that I've made and I know that I have a lot of work to do.
Yesterday Rose was frustrated when I got her out of bed. She told me she didn't like me and that she wanted a different mom. 😩 #knifetotheheart But instead of getting my feelings hurt and telling her that it wasn't very nice of her to say that or getting mad in return, I said "Well, I like you, and I always will. And I like being your Mom and it's okay for you to be frustrated." And I was calm, and I helped her when she needed help, and after about 2 minutes of her being angry with me, she asked me to sit with her and be close to her. And I'm SO proud of myself for being a safe place for her to grow and learn how to become the person that Heavenly Father wants her to and knows she can become! She knows she is loved, and I also know that she loves me. I love this little family of mine and the opportunities that it is giving me to become a better person.
No comments:
Post a Comment