This is probably my favorite post of the year. I love answering these questions and looking back on everything that happened in the last year, and I love looking through my pictures and finding ones to share along with my answers. I have reflection posts from 2013, 2014, 2018, and 2019.
Even if you don't have a blog, this would be a really fun activity to do in a journal where you could keep track of each year! I love looking back and reading through all of my past reflection posts!
First things first, enjoy a picture of Rose at the beginning of the year and a picture of Rose now:
Ugh, how did this happen???? She can't be so old!
Okay, these pictures of Lucy are from September 2019 and March 2020 so I have to use both so you can imagine a baby somewhere in between.
And Lucy just last week! <3
1. What did you do on your birthday and how old did you turn?
This year was a strange one for my birthday. Lucy was born 2 days before my birthday, and if there wasn't a pandemic going on, I probably would have been in the hospital on my birthday, but they let us go home a day early, so I spent the day recovering from giving birth at my parent's Airbnb where they were staying with Rose. I knew before my birthday arrived that it wouldn't be like a normal year, so I made a list of things that would feel fun to me for my birthday. My parents brought me a TON of tulips that I could put in my kitchen AND in my bedroom, and Ryan drove 45 minutes to pick up the most delicious (and way more expensive than I expected... oops...) chocolate hazelnut cake with a cheesecake layer and a chocolate ganache from Gourmandise, because you can't go out two days after having a baby and even if I hadn't just had a baby, most restaurants and places were closed for dine in because we were only a month into a country wide shut down and pandemic.
It was fun to just relax, hold my new baby, watch Rose play with toys, and spend time with my mom, dad, and Ryan for my birthday this year.
Technically a few days before my birthday.
Two days before my birthday. Because no way was I having a baby on my birthday or sharing my birthday for the rest of my life with her! Sorry Lucy!
This one is on my birthday. *insert heart eyes here*
2. What are your strongest memories from this year and why?
2020 will definitely be defined by the strangeness of the world shutting down because of Coronavirus, and the cultural changes that have been made because of it. (Wearing a mask in public always, staying 6 feet away from everyone, really being cautious when I feel any sickness symptoms, and not spending time with so many people that we love to spend time with.)
It will also be defined by the addition of Lucy to our family in April, flying to Florida with Rose (while 7 months pregnant) to be a bridesmaid in my Kindergarten best friends wedding, and the month that we got to spend in Alaska in August because of Ryan's paid paternity leave.
Other smaller things that define this year: getting to go on so many hikes this summer, taking the time to visit my grandparents as much as possible (Rose and I went several times this summer), making lots of cake, going on lots of walks, and going to the library a bunch. Also, Ryan's dad got married in February so our in-law family grew by a great new step-mother-in-law (?) and three new step siblings-in-law for me! Which has been awesome! and also both my sister Emily and Ryan's sister Tressa came home from their missions this year and it has been so fun hanging out with them this year. Tressa even stayed with us for the summer.
3. What did you do this year that you'd never done before?
I went to Alaska!
I was a mom to 2 kids and survived.
I wore a mask in public for 9 months (and still counting).
I completed a personal finance self reliance course at church.
I folded up a double stroller with one hand and put it in the back of the van while holding a baby with the other hand. Once. I haven't been able to master it since then.
I started driving a minivan!
4. What did you want and get?
A new laptop! (I saved for a long time to get this one.)
To go to Florida for Tori's wedding! I was so worried that it wouldn't work out with being pregnant with Lucy, but the timing couldn't have been more perfect considering the world shut down a few weeks after!
Delicious sea food (I've been craving coconut shrimp since our trip to San Diego so I got some in Florida when I was with my grandparents and then again when we were in Alaska.)
My very favorite recipe book: Simple Cake by Odette Williams (I bought it for myself with my birthday money and have made cake a bunch of times since.)
Purple hair! I've always wanted purple hair and this was the perfect year to do it! I got it done right before we went to Alaska so that I could have cool hair in a cool place. But, turns out even having purple hair doesn't make me more likely to do my hair each day... so I did get some nice pictures... but mostly of me looking like a mom with messy hair.
Not one of my messy mom hair pictures. I actually curled my hair for these pictures. haha.
5. What did you want and not get?
I was really hoping to get more photography jobs this year, and I didn't do as well as I hoped, BUT for having a baby and the country dealing with Covid since March, I did pretty good! 2021 is the year my small business is going to start progressing, I can feel it!
6. What would you like to have next year that you didn't have this year?
I'm trying to save up for a new lens for my camera and I think that this year I will be able to save up enough for it so that I can take even better pictures.
I also would really like to go on a mini trip with just Ryan (which we are in the process of planning for this Spring), we normally go away for at least a night each year and we never got around to it in 2020.
7. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?
My biggest goal for 2020 was to be intentional. I did good at the beginning of the year but then I kind of struggled with it towards the beginning of the pandemic. I was really sad that church was cancelled, temples were closed, the gym and the library closed, and masks were required everywhere. It can be really hard to be a stay at home mom when you don't have anything to get you and your kids out of the house. For a while after Lucy was born I just kind of let each day come and go.
But with practice being a mom of two, I've figured out ways to be intentional in my relationships with Rose and Lucy and Ryan, to be intentional with my photography business, and to be intentional with my spirituality and even my physical health. I'm really proud of my progress this year as I've tried to be intentional. With Rose I make an effort to get her up half an hour before Lucy so that we can read books, color, or even just eat breakfast together every morning and that makes all the difference in our relationship now that there's another little girl who needs my attention too. We also go on Mommy and Rose dates either on walks or to the store about once a week, and that has also been really fun. I get up early to feed Lucy every morning and then put her back down for a nap, but before I put her back to sleep I rock her and sing to her and leave my phone out of the room so that we can have some one on one time every morning too.
Ryan and I have been able to go on a date every week since we got back from Alaska at the end of August, and that has been amazing for our relationship! Being intentional about our relationship has been so good for us. We love to read books and learn about healthy couple relationships together. And if you ever want recommendations for goods ones, we have lots of suggestions!
I just love this guy. He's so handsome! <3
After Lucy was born I really wanted to take advantage of our Rec Center Memberships, so I started taking an exercise class once a week and loved it so much that I now go twice a week! And then try to work out at least once but preferably 2 or 3 more times during the week either at home or also at the gym but just on the bikes or the track. I have LOVED doing barre and working out regularly, it's one of the few things I do for just me, and it has been a huge mood booster for me. I definitely notice a difference on the weeks that something comes up and I can't go to my classes, and the weeks that I do go.
And lastly, I have worked so hard the last couple years to say my prayers and study my scriptures every day. There have been periods that I have done really well and other times that I have not, but overall, my scripture study has improved drastically in the last few years and it's another thing that makes a huge huge huge difference in my mental health and wellbeing. On the days that I choose to scroll through instagram instead of taking time to learn feel close to my Heavenly Father I have a hard time getting things done, I get frustrated easily, and if I skip too many days in a row I normally end up crying because of something dumb and then realizing later that I haven't prayed in a few days. Part of working on being intentional has been working on waking up earlier so that I have time to study and pray before I take a shower or feed Lucy and the rest of the day goes on and also leaving my phone on the bedside table first thing in the morning and kneeling down to pray instead.
Don't ask me about goals unless you want listen to me go on and on and on. haha I love making goals and working to improve myself! I love that with living a human experience we can choose if we want to change for the better or stay stagnant. Striving to be a little better every day is so thrilling to me!
8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?
Giving birth to another baby is one and then surviving 8 months of keeping Rose and Lucy alive is the other biggest achievement of this year. Giving birth is so scary, easier the second time, but still terrifying. I cried several times in the hospital (and not while actually giving birth. haha) But also being a mom to two instead of one is SO daunting and I'm so proud of myself for surviving the year and also feeling like I did a pretty good job! I'm pretty good at keeping them fed on a schedule, getting them dressed every morning, reading books and playing with them every day, taking them on walks and getting outside (which we are slacking on currently because it is so cold outside and so NOT fun to get the girls into all their warm winter layers by myself.), and for the first time in my parenting career, I give the girls baths every single week! (Rose's baths were not very consistent because we both hated every minute of bath time, but we have a system now and it is working really well!)
The Bumbo seat is my greatest idea I've ever had!
9. What was your biggest failure?
Every year I mention that I don't like this question, I don't think failure counts unless you give up for good, and I'm not really a quitter.
Oh, but I did quit one thing. The rec center was did a "Tour de Provo" where you could sign up to join a challenge to bike 300 miles in six weeks. And if you made it to the end you would get a free t-shirt. Well, at the end of the first week (where I rode 20 ish miles in three days) they announced the t shirt design they were going to hand out and it was a lame t shirt. And my period started, AND my butt hurt SO much from biking the previous three days. So, I quit. Because I like free t shirts, but I don't need more t shirts in my drawer unless it's a nice t shirt and riding 300 miles in 6 weeks for a lame t shirt just didn't seem worth it to me...
Other than that, if I could change something about this past year, I would spend less time on my phone, and I would go outside even more when the weather was nice. But I don't think I experienced any failures.
10. What did you rely on when you were overwhelmed?
Chocolate...always chocolate. (chocolate is my unhealthy, self sabotaging attempt at escapism.) But the things that truly helped me get through each day of the year, were praying for help as a mother and wife, and studying my scriptures every day and going to the gym regularly.
Also, a good long hug from Ryan always helps me feel better.
11. What are your strongest recommendations for entertainment from this year?
My favorite books this year were: Simple Cake, Things You Save in a Fire, All the Money in the World, The Flatshare, The Secrets of Happy Families, Where'd You Go Bernadette, The Mother-in-Law, A Curse so Dark and Lonely, Bread and Wine: A love letter to life around the table, Just Mercy, and Maybe You Should Talk to Someone (I read a bunch of good books this year!)
We didn't really watch very many movies this year... but I really liked Knives Out (minus some of the somewhat graphic parts), Soul, and the new Emma.
I guess we watch more YouTube videos these days and we really like clips from tv shows (the Office, Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec, Friends), we watched Jimmy Fallon before Covid, and lately we've been watching lots and lots of Dude Dad.
Oh, also I think Daniel Tiger is the best show for 2 year olds there is! But Ryan hates it so we only watch it when he's gone.
Our other forms of entertainment: The girls and I went on walks daily for most of Spring, Summer, and a lot of Fall which was really nice, we also started going to the library again every week when it got too cold to go outside. This summer we went on more hikes than we have ever been on and that was wonderful. We also went to the pool a lot when it was hot outside. If anyone has any good ideas for entertainment with a baby and a toddler in the winter, I would be very grateful!
The face of a baby who just blew out green poop all over herself and the baby carrier.
12.
What song will remind you of this year?Rose learned to really love songs this year and singing songs. So, those songs will probably be the ones that remind me of this year. Rose's favorite songs to listen to this year were Bang by AJR, Uptown Funk, the entire Frozen 2 soundtrack (especially Into the Unknown), and The Lorax soundtrack.
The songs that Rose loves to sing are: I am a Child of God (which is the first full song she really learned to sing, which totally blew me away when I realized she actually knew it!), I Am Like a Star, Rock a Bye baby and the pop song called Rock a bye Baby, Row Row Row Your Boat, and songs from Daniel Tiger.
Here is a photo series of Rose singing "Into the Unknown."
13. What was your most enjoyable purchase?
A lot of the purchases that I made this year were actually enjoyable purchases. I LOVE the Simple Cake book that I got myself for my birthday and it has brought me SO much joy looking through it and making delicious cake from the recipes inside it.
I'm also super happy to finally have a nice laptop! I got a MacBook Pro, and it has made editing my pictures so much easier! And the battery lasts SO long and everything works faster. It's just so satisfying. Ryan actually keeps using my laptop for his school stuff, so he's happy with it too.
Our tickets to Alaska were also kind of pricey, but it was definitely worth it to get to spend a month in a cool place with great people! (shout out to the Coombs family for letting us stay with them! <3) So, that was also an enjoyable purchase.
Oh, and we also started using Clean Simple Eats meal plans. It's kind of a macro counting health plan, and we don't use it the way we should (we substitute lots of the ingredients: regular honey instead of raw honey, peanut butter instead of nut butter, whole milk instead of almond milk, etc.), but we are eating healthier and more consistently than we ever have and I started enjoying cooking sooner after this pregnancy than I did after Rose. Which has been a huge plus for Ryan and for me. Also, we love their protein powders so we bought a bunch of those on Black Friday... definitely enough to last us until next Black Friday.
15. Did you travel? If so, where?
I took two big trips this year.
In February, Rose and I flew to Florida for 10 days so I could be a bridesmaid in my kindergarten best friends wedding. I asked my mom to come with me, and that led to my aunt, cousin, and sister also coming to Florida so we could hang out with my grandparents. It was a lot of fun! We went to St. Augustine, Flemington (where we stayed with old family friends who let me drive their golf cart around their property and also pet their cows! It was a dream come true!), a beach where I got some beautiful sunset pictures of Rose, and a hike where we saw an alligator (another one of my bucket list items for this trip.)
Tori's wedding was absolutely beautiful, I am so so so glad that I got to be a part of it. And that it worked out for me to go! I was cutting it close being 34 or 35 weeks pregnant, but my doctor gave me permission to fly and it worked out just fine!
Our other big trip was to Alaska. Ryan gets 6 weeks of paid paternity leave from Sam's Club so we spent a month of it in Alaska with his cousins. He worked for his uncle for part of the trip and on the weekends we went on adventures: camping in Seward where we went to a sea life museum and went on a boat tour one weekend, camping in Denali on another, and boating at a nearby lake where I successfully got up on a wakeboard (which I didn't think I'd be able to do!)
Another big accomplishment: surviving our flights to Florida and to Alaska. My flight to Florida with Rose was HORRIBLE but the flight to Alaska was SO smooth! It was amazing!
Rose can't stop talking about how we slept in a sleeping bag in a tent while we were in Alaska.
We normally travel more within Utah, but Ryan's been working a lot this year, so with his time off we mostly just went hiking nearby in Provo Canyon. (We did see a moose on one of our hikes this year! I didn't see one in Alaska like I was hoping too, but I did see one on a hike when Lucy was only a month or so old... next time I have a baby, I think I'll wait the full 6 weeks before going hiking because this hike ended up being way longer than I expected because we had to back track so we wouldn't go between a mom and baby moose who were on both sides of the trail.)
16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I mentioned earlier that my overall goal for the year was to be intentional, and I honestly feel really good about how I spent my time this year! We spent a lot of time doing the things we all love to do, and I'm proud of that! The only things I would have done more of, I didn't because of Covid: I wish I had been able to see my friends more often. And I really miss church the way it was before covid (without masks and with Sunday school/relief society/nursery, and church activities). I also wish Rose could have played with more kids her age.
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
This one will always be: I wish I spent less time on my phone. The problem is that being a stay at home mom can be really exhausting and draining and by the end of the day, all I want to do is zone out and scroll through instagram. But there are a lot of things I WANT to do (like write on my blog, edit pictures, make a website for my photography, take a course on family films and start making family videos, read books, bake, paint, organize our apartment, etc) and scrolling through instagram sucks time just as much as children suck energy out of you.
So, this year I'll be better! I'll still probably spend too much time on my phone, but hopefully I will also make time for the things I want to do too.
18. Compared to this time last year, how are you different?
This time last year I had a pregnancy bump and just one kid, this year I don't have the bump and I have two!
I am more intentional with my time, and in my relationships with Ryan and my girls. I still have a ways to go with being more intentional in other also important relationships.
I am more confident in my photography and more confident in myself as a mom.
I'm a little more anxious in some ways and less anxious in others.
I'm more spiritually in tune, and better at making and keeping good habits.
I do get frustrated more often, but I'm better at not acting on that frustration. #motherhood #wifehood #lifewithatoddler
I'm more active! And stronger!
I'm less tired because I'm not working a night job anymore.
My hair is longer, and blonder at the ends because it had to be bleached before it was dyed purple this summer.
Oh! And I tried sushi with raw fish for the first time this year and I like it! So, I now like raw fish I guess.
19. Compared to this time last year, how are you the same?
I'm still 5'2" (have been since 2009...)
I'm still a mom and a wife.
I still love chocolate, although I also love cake, that's new for me, and I eat less Nutella, which I never expected to happen.
I don't really know how to answer this question. I don't think I have changed much in the last year. I still think I am an introvert, but after becoming a stay at home and experiencing Covid, Ryan thinks I'm an extrovert with social anxiety. But I think I am an introvert with social anxiety that loves to spend time with people as long as I can have a break alone afterward to read or scroll through instagram. It's complicated. I do miss people though.
20. What's a life lesson you learned this year?
The power of positivity and the power of gratitude were both big ones.
I love the idea of positive parenting where you look for the good and praise the good in your children instead of telling them everything they are doing wrong and taking things away when they do something they aren't supposed to. And it is something that I have been practicing and working on with Rose, but I also have been trying to apply it to my relationship with Ryan. Just noticing the good he does and focusing on that rather than getting frustrated when I feel like I'm doing all the work (which just isn't ever going to be true haha, it's just easy to be self centered and focus on your own struggles rather than to look at what others are going through.) It's made a big difference in my own happiness and in our relationship.
And then the week of Thanksgiving, President Nelson asked us to share what we are grateful for for 7 days on social media and I felt SO much JOY scrolling through Facebook and Instagram to see what everyone was grateful for and also spending all day long thinking about what I was grateful for and what I would share. It was probably one of the best weeks of the year and I am just amazed at what a mood booster it was to focus on gratitude for a week. I'll have to remember to keep being grateful!
2020 statistics:
# of walks around the block: at least 85
# of diapers changed: 5674910701784702701574
Picture books read: considering I had 80 books checked out from the library just last week... I'm going to say we read close to 1000 picture books this year.
Miles flown: 8,732 miles. We just wanted to make sure to fly to the furthest corners of the United States this year. (Florida and Alaska)
Number of times I've used the bathroom alone: 3
States visited: Florida, Idaho, Washington (just a layover), Alaska, and of course, Utah
Pounds of chocolate eaten: ∞
# of Cakes made: 20 (I refuse to share the number of cakes I ate by myself with you. But it's not a good number. haha)
Ratio of girls to boys in the family now: 3:1
Average # of hours slept per night before Lucy turned 5 months: 4
# of times we went to our ward in person: Probably 12
# of pictures currently on my phone: 7084
# of videos currently on my phone: 928
Available storage space on phone: 0 mb
