Fathers

I know Father's Day was two weeks ago, but is there ever a time that we shouldn't celebrate the important and meaningful people in our lives? I have been immensely blessed to be surrounded by really good men in my life and I wanted to write about them for you! We have plenty of bad men in the world, I hope this is a good reminder that there are good men too!

(Also, I know that an aesthetically pleasing blog post wouldn't have SO many pictures, but I just LOVE all of these photos and I already narrowed it down... TWICE... so you're just going to have to deal with the pictures that were left.)

I have a Dad who has always worked hard to provide for my family, who sets a good example to me of kindness and optimism, and who loves my Mom and all of us. He always does the right thing, even when it isn't the easiest thing. He is also the most grateful person I've ever met. While I was on my mission, he was going through chemotherapy and I remember getting emails from him about how he was just SO grateful for all of his blessings when I think it could have been really easy to not really feel that at the time.

I have a Father-in-Law who is steady and loyal and who taught my husband how to be a good man and to always look for ways to serve others. When Ryan was growing up they went to every single service opportunity their ward offered, even while he worked 2 jobs to provide for the family. And he is an awesome grandpa to Rose.

This is Ryan's dad with a baby Ryan! 

I have a husband who is wonderful in every way. He always strives to be better than the day before, he loves Rose and me to the ends of the earth, and he works really really really hard to provide for us while also going to school so we can have a better future. He is fiercely loyal to me and to those he cares about, he's kind to those who don't fit in, and he will drop anything to help someone in need. I fell in love with him while we were dating because every time we visited someone he would do their dishes. He's the best Dad to Rose, always willing to read her a book, spin her around, or give her a piece of chocolate when she points to the candy jar. She gets so excited every time she hears the door open when he comes home from work. I LOVE being his wife.

I have a grandpa who is a good example to me of quiet service. While he shows a grumpy exterior, he will always show up to help out, even when it is inconvenient. He is forever making gifts for people I would never even think to thank, like the mailman, doctors and nurses who he has met while in the hospital, and neighbors. He's a hard worker and one of my favorite people to sit and listen to as he tells stories.

Also, how cool does my grandpa look in this photo with my mom? 

I've had bishops and a mission president who saw my potential and always encouraged me to be my best self, while also always being willing to sit and talk to me when I needed guidance. They were busy men with a lot on their plate, but they always made me feel like I was important and as if they had all the time in the world to sit and listen to me. 

I am so grateful for the many good men in my life who make it easy to believe that I have a loving Father in Heaven who knows me, cares about me, and has my best interests in mind and to believe in a loving Savior who literally gave everything to save someone like me. 

This world seems to have a shortage of really good men, but here's a shout out to all of the good men I know, who have helped to shape me into the person I am today, and who give me hope for a wonderful future ahead.

Valentine's Day

I LOVE Valentine's Day! It's probably in my top 3 favorite holidays. (It's tied with Christmas and my birthday.) Growing up, my mom always made Valentine's day a fun day. We put a tablecloth on the table, heart shaped chocolates were scattered on the table along with some flowers, and then we had a yummy meal. After dinner we always got a Valentine gift from our parents. Sometimes my mom would even hang up heart garlands on the wall (which I don't think was as common as it is now with Pinterest and Instagram.)

My mom signed me up for a bow subscription from Little Poppy Co. and in February they sent out a bonus Valentine's Day bow that I just HAD to use. And since Rose is such a willing subject, we had a fun little photo shoot. (I can't think of a better subscription than to get little baby bows in the mail every month! #girlmomlife )

My freshman year of college my parents sent me a little care package and my dad accidentally switched the valentine he wanted to send me with the valentine for Carson's teacher. So I got a little valentine that said "Teacher, You're Great!" haha!

As a lame teenager, I always wanted a Valentine, but the holiday was never dampened if I didn't have one. For me, the day is about love. Not just for a significant other but for my friends, for my family, for the people around me that I care about. I am so so so blessed to be surrounded by people who love and support me and who love and support my little family. Valentine's day was a wonderful day to reflect on that and feel gratitude for everyone in my life.

Because our anniversary is only 4 days before Valentine's day we have decided that we want it to be more of a family holiday where we celebrate how much we love being a family and being together. Ryan is a romantic at heart and still felt like leaving me a trail of Hershey's kisses and fancy chocolate for me to find when I woke up (leading to some flowers), which I didn't mind, of course. And we finished the day off by making homemade pizza (because that's what I did last year and I thought it would be a fun tradition.)

Isn't he sweet? He did all this while I was asleep and was late to class because of it. 

I know I'm like a week and a half late, but I hope that everyone was able to feel loved and important on Valentine's Day. If not by the people around you, then at least hopefully you felt the love that Heavenly Father has for you.

“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:37-39)

Anyway, I hope you feel loved and remember to love the people around you every day of the year! Happy Valentine's Day!

Ashes and an Anniversary

Today is our TWO YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! Phew! We made it this far! ;)

It's only been 2 years but I look at this picture and I think "Babies!" We look so small!

I think I'll write another blog post tomorrow about what we did to celebrate our wedding anniversary, but I've been wanting to write about something else for a couple of years now and I've been waiting to write about it around our anniversary. 

Around the time we got engaged, we were trying to figure out all of our wedding plans. My parents lived in Texas, but my extended family all live in Northern Utah and Idaho (and Florida part of the year). Ryan's dad at the time lived in Southern Utah, and all of his extended family lived in Central Utah and Alaska. Figuring out the best and most convenient temple to get sealed in was a little difficult. 

One night, we were walking around the Provo City Center temple (because I was living in Provo going to BYU) and I told Ryan that I wanted to get sealed here. 

The story behind the Provo City Center Temple is SO cool to me. 

Before it was a temple, it was a beautiful, historic tabernacle that caught on fire and was destroyed. The outside was able to be preserved and from the inside out it was turned into a temple, a sacred house of the Lord. 

When I stood outside of the temple with Ryan thinking about marrying him, I knew I wanted it to be this temple because of it's story, it was a perfect fit for us. The tabernacle was beautiful. It was a great building with great purpose, but something happened and it burned down. It can be hard to see something so wonderful turn into something so awful, but God always has bigger plans that we can't always understand. He knew that the tabernacle was done with it's time just being a tabernacle, it needed to be destroyed so it could be rebuilt as something with greater purpose. 

It reminds me of that CS Lewis quote:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

Before meeting Ryan, it felt like Heavenly Father was messing up my plans and getting in my way. I made mistakes and I felt pain because of them. I went through my refiners fire, and so did Ryan. It took a lot of banging and bruising and wrong paths and right ones. Bad choices and good choices. I never wanted to serve a mission, but Heavenly Father pushed me in that direction. Ryan had his own struggles but was pushed in that direction as well. Sometimes it blows my mind all the tiny little details that went into Ryan and I meeting. Heavenly Father knows us so well.

I just feel like I had no idea what wonderful and beautiful plans God had in store for me, or what plans He has for my future still.

I love this picture because it's right as we are walking out of the doors of the temple after getting married, and look, Jesus is standing right behind us holding a lamb. I just think it is so symbolic of how He is looking out for us, and our marriage/family. 

When the tabernacle caught on fire, some people were upset that God would let something so horrible happen, but they had no idea that it would turn into the most beautiful and best temple in the world (in my totally unbiased opinion...) Now, it's a place where families can be sealed together forever, and I am SO SO grateful for that blessing.

Any opportunities to share my wedding pictures are opportunities I will take! This one is my very favorite.

Happy 2 years to us! I can't wait to see what the rest of eternity will bring.

#SOblessed

A Blog Post Written at 4 AM

It's 4 AM right now, and I am sitting at a desk in the Residential Treatment Center I now work at. My one and only job is to stay awake from 10 PM to 8 AM. It is seriously difficult. In fact, if this blog post turns out as complete gibberish, you'll know why.

I started my new job 2 weeks ago, but last Saturday night I had my very first night shift.

I'm not kidding when I say that my only job is to stay awake. All the kids are sleeping, so we just have to make sure no one runs away or does anything they're not supposed to. Otherwise, we just sit and stay awake. (Or try with all our might....)

My first night was REALLY difficult. I've never worked a 10 shift OR a night shift, so it has definitely been an adjustment.

Luckily, I only work 3 nights a week and I work them all in a row, so I have 3 rough days with little sleep, and then 4 days with normal amounts of sleep.

I also have the BEST baby in the whole world because when I get home in the mornings I feed her and then put her back to bed and every single day that I worked last week, she slept for an entire 4 hours! (Which is a first for her!) She is the sweetest baby in the whole wide world, and I love her for that. I'm normally pretty good on low amounts of sleep, and 4 hours feels like plenty. Especially because I only expected 2 hours of time that she would let me sleep.

Thanksgiving just came and went this past week, and I am so grateful for all the normal things: Ryan, Rose, our family, our home, food, chocolate, etc. But this year, I am extra grateful for a few other things.

1) All the people that have helped me out so much as I've applied for and been trained for this job. I don't know anyone close by who has the time to watch a baby for several hours, yet I've had help from so many people who have stepped up and sacrificed time they needed to do homework, work, or just relax from their extra busy lives. Last weekend, Ryan was out of town and I was especially stressed about my first night of work and what I would do with Rose since we would both be gone. Two friends that are going to BYU willingly came over and had a sleepover at my apartment so that they could be here when Rose woke up, which meant SO much to me.

2) I'm so so so grateful to have found a job that doesn't take away my time with Rose. She has no idea that I'm gone all night, and I am so grateful that I'm not missing any moments with her during the day.

3) I'm grateful for all the opportunities I have to learn and grow and pursue my dreams. I don't know if I'll get into the Master's program at BYU but studying for and taking the GRE reminded me that I like to learn and that I'm not dumb. Getting this job makes me feel useful and gives me something to do that's my own.

4) I am so grateful for the 4 nights that I get to sleep. I have most definitely taken for granted how wonderful sleeping at night in a warm, comfortable bed next to a loving husband is.

5) This doesn't have anything to do with the other ones, but I'm grateful to not be pregnant this Fall and to not have morning sickness. Fall last year was pretty much ruined by that... and I'm so glad I can eat food without throwing up!

6) I already mentioned this, but I will always be so so so grateful for Ryan, for his support and for how much he loves me. Normally before I leave for work, I feed Rose into a coma, put her to bed and then don't have to worry about her waking up until at least 7 am. Tonight, Rose wouldn't eat, and was wide awake and I didn't know what to do because I had to leave for work. Ryan told me not to worry about it and that he would take care of it. I'm not sure how it went, because I'm still at work, but I can't imagine that she was happy to go to bed in a way that's different from her norm. It takes a really awesome husband to say "Hey, don't worry about it. I'll take this baby and potentially not get any sleep tonight because she hasn't been fed. We'll be alright. Go on, and don't give it anymore thought!" He's the best. :)

It's about 4:30 am now, and I almost fell asleep and I almost accidentally pushed on the little red 'x' at the top of the screen. That would be rough. Enjoy your sleep! Don't take advantage of it!

On Being Intentional

I have all sorts of things that I want to write about, but one thing is more important than the rest, so everything else will just have to wait. (keep posted for a discussion about my job applications and GRE test in a later blog post...)

Two years ago today, Donald Trump was elected as president. (Don't worry, this isn't a political post, so don't get your hopes up/get out your pitchforks.) 

Do you want to know what else happened two years ago today?? Ryan and I got engaged! Which is SO much more exciting than election stuff! 

November 8th, 2016 

Funny story, last night I wanted to go get a delicious dessert somewhere, but we also wanted to eat dinner and not be outside anymore, so Ryan told me we could go get a delicious dessert tonight instead. Later, I said "Oh this is perfect! It makes way more sense to get something yummy tomorrow night than tonight! Do you know what tomorrow night is?" and Ryan said "It's the November 7th, the anniversary of when we got engaged, I'm not stupid!" and I said "Tomorrow's the 8th." and he then he swore. So close. 

Anyways, it's fun to be married. It's not always easy, but it's the best decision I have ever made. 

This week I've been thinking about what it means to be intentional in my relationships with others, particularly with Ryan and Rose. It can be so easy to let life pass you by. I can waste an entire hour sitting on my phone, and only partially paying attention to Rose, or I can let a whole day go by without giving Ryan a kiss. Sometimes we get caught up in all there is to get done, that we forget to just be together and build our relationships with each other. 

Spencer W. Kimball said, "If one is forever seeking the interests, comforts, and happiness of the other, the love found in courtship and cemented in marriage will grow into mighty proportions. Many couples permit their marriages to become stale and their love to grow cold like old bread or worn-out jokes or cold gravy. Certainly the foods most vital for love are consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, concern, expressions of affection, embraces of appreciation, admiration, pride, companionship, confidence, faith, partnership, equality, and dependence."

I don't want to go on and on and on, but this week I've been really trying to seek the interests of Ryan, to think intentionally about what I can do to serve him. On Saturday, I decided to surprise him by bringing him lunch at work, and he totally lit up. It was such a small thing, but it made me feel so good to be the reason for that smile on his face. 

So, I suppose my little piece of advice would be to be intentional this week. Love the people you're with and make sure that they actually know how much you care about them. Even if it's something small. 


PS. Enjoy our family pictures that we tried to get before all the colorful leaves fell. (We were too late, but the pictures turned out cute anyway.) 

Peach Days, Chocolate, and Home Depot

I keep having these grand plans to write like two or three blog posts a week so that I can just write about one week at a time, but then it doesn't end up happening and I have TWO whole weekends to write about!

(I know, you are probably thinking, "Why does this matter?" Sigh, it just does. I think I have a fear of forgetting things. I take millions of pictures. I post them on Facebook, Instagram, I back them up on Google drive AND on an external hard drive. I have a study journal, a regular journal, and my blog. This blog is the easiest way to combine all of that into one...so, there you go. That's why I have to write about my last two weeks.)

Two weekends ago, we drove up to Brigham City to stay with my family and to go to Peach Days. This blog post has been a draft for two weeks titled "Peach Days". Ryan and I were going to put Rose to bed at my aunt's house and then go to the Peach Days carnival on our first date in months. And because she was already asleep there would be no rush to go back because no one needed to watch her or calm her down and she didn't need to eat. I had visions of romantic pictures by the Ferris Wheel and eating cotton candy and just having a wonderful time. (We went on one of our first dates to Peach Days about two years ago, and I was hoping it would be terribly romantic and nostalgic.)

This is from our first time at Peach Days... These are my cousins with us...they were our chaperones... They followed us around the entire time and made gagging sounds every time we kissed or held hands. 

Our date night did not end up exactly how I pictured it. First off, we spent $20 on 20 tickets. We were so excited to go on all of the rides, until we were in line for our first one. Then we both kind of nervously laughed about how much fun it would be, but thinking in our minds, "Are we too old for this? Because that doesn't actually look very fun..." The ride we went on made me feel kind of like I was that fish in the bag of water that Darla shook up in Finding Nemo. With the addition of ridiculously loud music and strobe lights. So, after that we thought we would just stick to the carnival games. Which only took cash and we didn't want to pay for those since we had already paid for our tickets. So, we wandered around getting bumped into by the throngs of people who came from who knows where (Brigham City is NOT a big town!). We smelled more alcohol and smoke than we have encountered since we served our missions in Washington. And at one point someone nearby threw something away that smelled VERY STRONGLY like egg salad... (?!?! Who brings egg salad to a carnival???) We gave our tickets to someone else and took off, sad that we have gotten too old to enjoy carnival rides and worried that we may not like roller coasters as much as we used to either...)

I only got one picture at Peach Days this year... and it's not a very good one, because Ryan had a headache and wasn't very cooperative. (Shocker, I know... Ryan is always so willing to get his picture taken... ;) haha)

This blog post is important, because hopefully next time we are in Brigham City around Peach Days we will remember to just bring cash for the games and only go in the morning before all the annoying high school students and beer come out.

Other than Peach Days being a bit of a bummer, we had a great weekend.

On to the next item of business...Chocolate.

Krista, my friend, texted me a few weeks ago to tell me that National Chocolate Day was on Thursday, September 13th, and asked if I'd like to make/eat chocolate cake with her that day. Nobody in their right mind would ever turn down an invitation like that, so OF COURSE I said I would love to. We made the most beautiful chocolate cake I have ever laid my eyes (or mouth) on and had tons of fun. Rose was a little bored by the time we were done and was mad at me for making chocolate cake for myself when it is obviously my job to feed her/pay attention to her/meet her every want and desire first and foremost. But little does she know, that I am sacrificing myself for her, by eating this chocolate cake, I am making sure she gets the proper nutrients that she needs as my offspring. (The women in my family thrive off chocolate, and for now she'll just have to live vicariously through me.)

This is a funny picture I got of her while we were making the cake. She was bored. 

I took the most professional pictures of the cake I possibly could, because a beautiful cake deserves the time taken to capture how beautiful it is. Here they are:

I ate my half of the cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner the next day. And realized that I would be a much happier person if I made myself a chocolate cake every week unfortunately, that involves making a cake every week and I just don't think Rose will allow me to do that.

Okay, last few things I have to share:

• On Thursday night, after the cake, I went to a Relief Society Garden Party that was "Decade's" themed. I'm on the committee, so I had to dress up. I forgot about it until that morning though, so I had to figure out something that wouldn't look completely awful. I decided it would be easiest to ask my mom how she dressed in high school, so it would be more authentic. I couldn't quite manage it because it's difficult to give uncooperative, thin, flat hair a perm without getting a perm, but I was determined, so I did my best.

Maybe I really will get a perm. ;)

Last thing:

Over the weekend, Ryan and I had some time to just relax and do whatever we wanted (as long as it was mostly free), so we went to the farmers market. I think I need a new farmer's market buddy because Ryan always walks super fast past the first half of the booths which have all the things I want to look at and the samples (he won't eat the samples because he says it will just make him hungry, but I LOVE samples.) and then stops at the stuff at the end and wants to buy things we don't need like MORE giraffes ("But THIS one is from Africa, Kinsey!"). This time on the way there we decided that whoever saw the most yellow cars would get cotton candy. (He was teasing me because he was way ahead of me and he knows that cotton candy is one of my weaknesses, and I would be devastated if we got cotton candy for him and not for me.) Jokes on him though, because the cotton candy booth was probably at one of the many other festivals going on in Utah this weekend. :)
We ended up not buying anything because we are poor and went to Home Depot to find our "true color." (This comedian jokes about not being black, but "chocolate indulgence". It's a funny video and a fun idea.) We found out that I am not "White" but actually "Paper Heart." Ryan is not "Tan" but actually "Artist's Copper." Lucky for me "Paper Heart" was just slightly closer to my skin color than "Pumpkin Essence" because who wants to be described as "Pumpkin-y"???

Then, miracle of all miracles! Home Depot had FREE cotton candy and hot dogs. That's a food miracle if I ever saw one! (I love cotton candy!) Ryan just shakes his head at me, but he loves me and puts up with me despite my quirks and love of free things. I am so lucky. :)

So, there you go. That's our last two weeks. And don't forget (this goes for me too) to keep noticing your simple joys. Have a great weekend!