I have a compulsive need to keep track of every detail of everything that has ever happened to me. ð And I'm a creature of habit, and I love traditions. Which makes these yearly reflections really fun for me, but this year has been a bit stressful because I am 20 weeks pregnant and way behind on everything that I didn't do when I was in the first trimester and feeling awful. I'm normally very good at getting this done the first week of January, but here I am in the middle of February, and starting it now. Which is fine, the only person holding me to this standard, is myself, and I can be lenient with myself and give myself grace for taking my time this year.
To start: here are pictures of Rose and Lucy in January 2021 vs January this year (2022)
1. What did you do on your birthday and how old did you turn?
3. What did you do this year that you'd never done before?
This year, I exercised consistently 2-3 times a week in a Barre class at the rec center. I've never consistently been able to find a type of exercise that I enjoyed and could stick with as consistently as I did Barre this year, and I'm very proud of myself! I also managed to run a mile in just over 7 minutes for the first time ever, and that felt like a big achievement too. I mostly ran over the summer though, so that was not something that I stuck with.
I tried sushi with raw fish and I liked it. We ate lots of sushi this year.
I made 3 1/2 times more money in my photography business than I did in 2019 or 2020.
We went gambling during our family reunion in Colorado this summer and I made $80 from $20 while playing slot machines! Ryan is adamantly against gambling, but was okay with letting me try one time so I could get it out of my system ð but now he's worried that I'll be hooked.
4. What did you want and get?
This year I got a new lens for my camera that I have been dying to have forever! It's a canon 35 mm 1/4. It's my first professional level lens and it makes a HUGE difference in my photography! I love it so much!
I got to go to the beach while we were in Texas, that was something I've also been dying to do for almost 10 years. (I grew up in Florida and went to the beach almost every summer until I graduated from high school, but since then I haven't had a beach vacation until this year when we stayed at the beach in Texas with my parents.)
And my favorite Christmas present was extra iCloud storage on my phone, so that my phone wouldn't be out of space for the first time in a few years.
5. What did you want and not get?
I was hoping to get pregnant a little sooner so that my baby would be born in the Spring, but it turns out I can't have control over everything. ðĪŠ And along those same lines, I was hoping this would be the pregnancy I didn't have morning sickness, but that also just wasn't meant to be.
6. What would you like to have next year that you didn't have this year?
Honestly, this year I am hoping to just make it through the year and for it to be similar to last year. With having a baby in July, I am hoping we can still make it to the pool as many times as possible when I'm allowed to go, and to get outside and on hikes that my body can handle while I'm hugely pregnant or recovering. 2023 is the year I plan to travel as much as possible to make up for the lack of traveling in 2022. I'm hoping to find ways to feel joy even when things don't go as planned and when life feels difficult as I adjust to having 3 kids instead of 2.
7. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I have been meaning to go and look at my 2021 goals for a litttttttle while now... ð and I think I've been subconsciously putting it off because I was worried that I didn't do any of them. I make a lot of goals each year, and it does typically work for me, but more in the sense that I accomplish a lot of the things that I think about often and then a few other goals get set aside for another day. I just looked (click here for last years goals) and my overall theme/goal for the year was to look for the good. And I think I have made serious improvement in looking for the good, particularly in my relationships with family members and in looking for the good in my kids and in Ryan. But am I an expert at looking for the good in my daily life? Absolutely not, and I should probably work on that for another year.
Some other goals that I DID accomplish were:
Doubling the amount of money I made from photography (I almost quadrupled it!)
Potty training Rose!
Putting Rose and Lucy into the same room (which went SO WELL! They have become such good friends since moving into the same room!)
I got really good at studying my scriptures and praying every morning, but started slacking when I got pregnant and had trouble getting out of bed in the morning, I'm working on redeveloping that good habit again. It makes a big difference in my mental health and happiness and parenting.
We did a great job at building our emergency supplies, we made it out of the state not just 2 times, but 3 times, Ryan and I went on dates more consistently this year than in a while, I made a website for my business, I taught Rose and Lucy more primary songs and we started daily family prayer every night which wasn't one of my goals, but it is an accomplishment that I'm proud of, and I built my credit score!
Some goals that I didn't accomplish were: making photo books for 2018 and 2019, going camping twice (we only went camping once this year), or to be able to run 3 miles without stopping.
8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?
There are two things that I am really proud of myself for: one, is how much my photography business improved from 2020 to 2021. I worked really hard to get myself out there and while I have a loooonnnggg way to make it a successful business, I'm super pleased with the progress I'm making. Two, is how much my girls love learning about Jesus and His gospel. Teaching them about something that I love so much and that helps me more than anything else in my life and seeing how good and pure and sweet my two girls are as they recognize their Savior and feel happy while learning about Him and singing about Him brings me more joy than anything else. Lucy is so proud of herself when she folds her arms for the prayer, and her little attempts at prayer are the cutest. And she LOVES pointing out pictures of Jesus on the walls at church and on the tv and in books. Rose says the sweetest things when different gospel concepts start to connect in her mind. In primary the other week she learned that Jesus will guide us by the hand and she drew a picture of two hands, I didn't know what she had learned about so I asked her what the picture meant and she said "That's about how Jesus will hold my hand." <3 And during conference President Nelson said "If we will follow Jesus Christ, we have no reason to fear." and she heard that and has remembered since October that by remembering Jesus we don't have to be afraid. ❤️
9. What was your biggest failure?
The last few months of the year I really struggled with morning sickness and pregnancy depression and had a difficult time getting out of bed. I was tired and sad and overwhelmed with everything that I couldn't get done and felt like I was falling short as a mom and wife and housekeeper and photographer. It felt like every good habit that I had developed over the last year just went out the window. And pausing all of those good habits felt like a failure to me. But now that I'm out of it, I can see that it was just one season of life, and that I could get back up again. Now that I'm a month out of the worst of it, I'm still working on regaining some of those habits. But I can see that things aren't as hopeless as they felt in the moment.
The biggest thing from the year that I would like to be better on in 2022 is my phone use. Especially around my family members. And I would really like to figure out a way to lessen Instagram's pull on me so that I can have a better vision of reality.
10. What did you rely on when you were overwhelmed?
Always prayer. I believe my anxiety is always less when I pray more. And when I feel overwhelmed from anxiety, prayer normally helps me get back to a better place.
And also Instagram reels. ð #escapism
And Ryan. I can always talk to him when I'm feeling overwhelmed and he always knows how to help.
11. What are your strongest recommendations for entertainment from this year?
Getting outside is my favorite way to spend time, I loved all of the hikes we went on this year. And going up Provo Canyon to let the girls explore.
Some favorite books that I read this year: Defy the Night by Brigid Kemmerer, Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson, The Seven Realms series by Cinda Williams Chima, The Graceling series by Kristin Cashore, The Good Sister by Sally Hepworth, and Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski
Taking pictures of the girls on our family adventures was super fun for me this year too.
I can't think of any movies that we watched this year and loved, so no recommendations there.
My favorite music has been: Shania Twain, Miley Cyrus, Celine Dion, Ben Rector, Olivia Rodrigo, the Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and Taylor Swift. (That I can remember)
12. What song will remind you of this year?
Probably anything from Encanto...
Oh and every night we sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and I am Like a Star to Rose and Lucy. Sometimes we mix it up and sing something else, but most nights it's those two. (and Rose got glow in the dark stars for Christmas, so now it's fitting because their ceiling is covered in little glowing stars!)
13. What was your most enjoyable purchase?
My Canon 35 mm 1/4 lens is my favorite purchase from the year! But also our rec center memberships (including the child watch membership it's wonderful! Which we just cancelled until August ð). I also love having more phone storage. Another good purchase was a nice camera bag backpack! Oh, and one of my Christmas presents was new oil paints and I'm determined to start painting again this year!
15. Did you travel? If so, where?
This year's travel log:
April - St. George trip with just Ryan and I. We had the best time just doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted and hiking without a diaper bag or little kids on our backs. And eating lots and lots of yummy food.
June - Warburton Family Reunion to Cripple Creek, Colorado. This was our first long road trip with both girls and they did so good! We stopped every 2 hours at a new playground and honestly, that made the trip so much fun for all of us. In Colorado, we went to a casino to play the slot machines (just once! and there were limits: only use $20 and see how much you can make in 1 hour, if you lost it all, you had to stop. I made $80 and Emily made $60, everyone else lost everything. So, collectively, we came out even.) We also fed the local donkeys, went to a historic jail museum, visited Garden of the Gods, explored some cliff dwellings, and we played games. It was a fun trip, and fun to explore somewhere that none of us had ever been.
July - Vorkink family camping trip at Navajo Lake in Southern Utah. We spent 4 days with the whole family and enjoyed yummy camping food, sleeping in tents (and one night Ryan and I slept in his Dad's truck bed so we could look at the stars! It was one of my bucket list items.), kayaking in Navajo Lake, playing around Duck Creek, and playing games until the sun went down.
August - We took a weekend trip to Boise as a family to stay with our good friends Nate and Erynn and to see their cute kiddos. We visited the Boise Zoo and had fun staying up late talking to our friends who we don't get to see enough.
September - The girls and I flew to Texas for 2 weeks to stay with my parents. My mom put together the cutest little playroom for the girls with all of our dress up stuff from when I was little, and toys and books. Rose also loved having a big backyard to play in. I went running a handful of times on the local trail, and I took the girls down to the creek I loved exploring when I was in middle and high school. We ate Chuy's tex mex, I made sure to eat as many chocolate covered Round Rock donuts as possible, and I also had to have my favorite Thai dessert from Thai Spoon. We swam at the pool a few times with Carson, and we even took a 3 day trip down to the coast to stay in a beach house during a tropical storm. We prayed the rain away though and had one really wonderful beach day that was one of the highlights of my year. While at the beach we went to a seafood restaurant where I had delicious coconut shrimp and hushpuppies.
16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I will probably always wish that I had gone on more hikes. The last two years we have been really good at getting out into the mountains, but there are so many cool places in Utah that I would still like to visit, and we probably won't be in Utah for very many more summers. So, more hiking, more photography, and I wish I had spent more one on one time with Rose and Lucy. This year we are going to try to go on more individual dates with them. I also want to develop other talents and paint more.
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I will also probably always wish that I had spent less time on my phone. And less time worrying about things that I can't change.
18. Compared to this time last year, how are you different?
I'm pregnant again, and I wasn't last year. ð
I'm a little wiser, and I feel like I have a closer relationship to the Savior and a better idea of how to allow the Holy Ghost to be my constant companion and guide.
I'm a better mom in some ways, and have things to work on as I learn how to adjust to the constant needs of my children.
I'm a better photographer.
I'm a little more accepting of some of what makes me me, even though I've spent most of my life wishing I was different. (Anxiety, introvert tendencies, quiet, people pleaser, etc.) I'm learning how to take those challenges and turn them into strengths.
I'm a little grumpier (a pregnancy trait that I always forget about.)
I don't like chocolate or dessert as much as I did last year. That's another pregnancy trait that has made me feel completely unlike myself. I'm counting on my tastebuds coming back to normal after I have this baby.
19. Compared to this time last year, how are you the same?
I think in most ways, I'm pretty much the same. Besides my growing belly, I look about the same, my hair hasn't changed much, I still like country music and pop music, my taste in books is similar, I'm wearing mostly the same clothes, we live in the same place, I'm still a good mom and figuring out each day one step at a time. I still love God and art and photography.
20. What's a life lesson you learned this year?
The biggest thing that has stood out to me this year over and over and over again is that Heavenly Father knows ME and loves me perfectly, completely, and unconditionally. Just recently I was having a rough day and I found a penny on the ground, and finding pennies was often a way that I knew Heavenly Father was looking after me when I was a missionary. Any time we were having a rough time, I would find a penny, and it happened so often that it began to feel like Heavenly Father was placing them there just for me. It doesn't happen very often now because I'm not out walking around random places every day, but on this one difficult day where I kept feeling on the verge of tears I was at the library, and there on the ground was one penny. I picked it up and felt a soft internal whisper "I know you."
This is a lesson that I have felt throughout the year in other ways, like while I was at the beach I found a beautiful shell that I was so so so excited to take home to show Ryan, and I lost it. And I tried not to be upset about it because it was just a shell. But I did care, and in the morning, I went looking for it, and couldn't find it, but at the last minute, while packing up to go home, my dad found it folded up in the camping chairs. It's just the tiniest things, but I have felt God's love for me in so many tiny moments like that this year.
Being a mom is so difficult sometimes. It's my favorite job in the whole wide world, but I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the best mom I can possibly be. I want Rose and Lucy to have the best life and I want to make sure that everything works out well for them. And I spend so much time reading and learning about how to make their life wonderful and successful and how to be the best mom I can possibly be. To keep them healthy emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. It's the anxiety in me, but it often feels like a lot of pressure and I often feel like I'm failing. But then when I think of my Heavenly Father who knows me perfectly, who knows my flaws, my weaknesses, the mistakes that I make, and the struggles that I have, and yet still is so patient and loving towards me, it makes it easier for me to look at my children through His eyes. To see their beautiful little bodies, and their flaws, their strengths and their weaknesses and to take a deep breath, to focus on what's most important and to remember that they are learning and growing, and so am I. It's helped me to be more kind, more patient, and more understanding of my kids and also the people around me. And to remember that no matter what, God knows all of us perfectly and loves us still, with no conditions, no second thoughts. He just does, and He always will.
