I found out yesterday that I didn't get accepted into BYU's Master's Program for Marriage and Family Therapy, and I was really really hoping that I would.
I would love nothing more than to save my dignity and not write this blog post or share this information with everyone, but I wrote so many posts about applying that I know some people would remember and wonder what happened.
I have also mentioned before that I want this to be a realistic blog. I don't want to show off a picture perfect family, because I don't want to add to the unrealistic expectations media portrays, so that means sharing the disappointments, rejection, and failures along with the successes and happy moments.
So, you know, I'm just a little bit bummed, and feeling a little bit sorry for myself.
It's no fun to get so excited about something and to put so much effort into it just to find out that it isn't going to happen.
It's also no fun to wonder what I did wrong or what I was lacking when something doesn't go right for me.
It's no fun to realize that I have to figure out a new plan and a new way to feel like I'm moving forward in life.
However, I haven't given up hope. :) Next time around I'll have more time to prepare and I will apply to more than just one program. I also have more time to figure out what God wants me to do with my life, or if He even wants me to go back to school.
For now though, I have at least a year and a half before I'll be able to go to school again if that ends up being the plan then I need to figure out a way to spend my time.
Some plus sides to not getting accepted are: no homework, no tests, I get to keep reading books for fun like I've been doing since I graduated, I can keep working at the youth residential treatment center I've been working at (which is helping us build up our savings account nicely), I won't have to worry about finding a babysitter for Rose, if we want to go on a trip, we only have to worry about Ryan's school schedule, um, I can continue to work on my photography business, and I can help support Ryan better in all that he's doing.
So, life won't be as stressful if I'm not going to school, which will be nice.
I'm also glad that I applied even though I didn't get accepted because I did really well on the GRE, which was kind of a confidence booster for me. I also strengthened some relationships with some of my professors, which was cool and might help me in the future. I also found a good job through the process of my application, and it allows me to use my degree a little bit.
All in all, it's been a good experience and I'm grateful that I tried. Here's to future endeavors and to figuring out a new plan! :)
And if you want to send me flowers or chocolate to help me feel better about not being accepted to the Master's Program, I won't be upset. ;)
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